Wednesday, April 15, 2009

What Nobody Told You About Trying to Conceive....

I found this on a blog of a fellow PCOS woman. We share the same disease and so many of the same heartaches. So many people with this disease may not even know anything is wrong but she and I live with the pain it brings everyday (like so many others) and the new lifestyle that we must live. These are real quotes from real women going through infertility. It's things no one ever told you...Things nobody told you about trying to conceive!
That unprotected sex doesn't necessarily lead to pregnancy.

That you would see your OBGYN/RE more often than your DH (Darling Husband) at O (Ovulation) time.

That the longer you TTC (try to conceive), the more PG women spring up around you.

That deep down inside, I can be a very jealous person.

That I should have gone to medical school like my mom wanted, because I've had to do so much medical research by now just to figure out what was wrong with me, I might as well be an M.D.

That I would know more about the female reproductive system and menstrual cycle than most of the doctors I go to.

That living your life in 2 week increments would be the norm.

That you never knew how much you wanted to see those 2 pink lines......until only one shows up every month.

That simply relaxing will NOT get you pregnant. (your dh has to do some work too)

That you have no control over some of the goals you set...

That wishing really hard for something doesn't make it happen, and staring at your chart doesn't make it change!

That one day my DH would know so much about how my uterus functions and what it looks like from the inside (thanks HSGs).

That a pregnancy doesn't always equal a baby.

That miscarriage is so common.

That I would wish we had started TTC earlier.

That my friends' pregnancies would start to make me sad instead of happy.

That I wasted ALOT of money on Birth control pills!!

That I'd EVER be willing to stab myself in the stomach every day in the hopes that it will help get me PG.

That it wouldn't happen the first time you didn't use birth control like we were led to believe in school.

That you wouldn't know how important a baby was to you until it took so long and you realized what you were willing to go through to make it happen.

That my DH is the most wonderful and caring man!

That it is insensitive to ask people when they are having a baby!

That women who do get pregnant are so very blessed!

That other people's "good news" of pregnancy makes me sad and when they tell me they have good news, I hope that they just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico.

That medicine and procedures are not a sure fire way to get pregnant but it is a sure fire way to lose money fast.

That had I bought stock in Clearblue Easy I'd have my mansion on St. Pete's Beach in FL by now.

That docs should prescribe Zoloft with Clomid.That having flo show up makes you cry, no matter who's bathroom you are in.

That it does not get easier, each cycle is harder than the last.Feeling like you wish your life away in 2 week increments.

That I wouldn't want to hold or see someone's baby because it just hurts way too much.

That I would splash urine on my face while taking apart an hpt (home pregnancy test) in the hopes there really was a 2nd pink line hiding in it.

That infertility is more common than you think.

That one day all of this will make us stronger.

That there is sometimes darkness (infertility) before the light (a baby).

That infertility is not as rare as I was led to believe.

That I would find it extremely difficult to be happy for other people's pregnancies and I would burst into tears upon hearing their news.

That it could hurt so much to lose your innocence.

That I am very bitter towards unmarried accidental pgcys, and slightly bitter towards married accidental pgcys.

That I'd be glad to know that I have PCOS - because at least I know what's wrong.

That I could spend so much time and money on figuring out what my body is doing (or not doing).

That I would have to rely on doctors to give me the final say-so on what I can or can't do (on a med/procedure break forced by my RE against my wishes)

That some people just say the wrong things.

That miscarriage would make me want a baby even more than before!

That I would resent someone who has been trying less time than me telling me "I know how you feel...

"That I would become addicted to POAS (pee on a stick) and not sleep at night because I couldn't wait to POAS in the morning!

That I would be so sad, and ashamed.

That when AF showed up you would feel broken and disfunctional.

That your friendships with your real life girlfriends would suffer because they got pregnant after being off the pill for 3 weeks.

That this would be, by far, one of the hardest things you will ever have to go through.

That the two little words of "just relax" uttered by everyone I know would infuriate me beyond belief.

That someone would suggest adoption to me in order to get pregnant (because it happened to a friend of theirs) before I had even had any testing done.

That my friends who started TTC #1 around the same time we did would already be pregnant with #2 before we get pregnant with #1.

That the people around me would become more insensitive as time goes on. "It is so hard having a new baby, you just wouldn't understand." or "Be happy you're not tied down."

That I would watch a Baby Story every day... only to cry every day.

That I would have to listen to people complain about their children as if they were burdens while a child is the one thing in the world I want the most. Also, they sound as if they are trying to talk me out of having kids, like it is the absolute worst thing that could ever happen to me.

That I would yell at commercials on the TV (that "having a baby changes everything" one really gets to me. I can't watch it without snapping "So does not having one.")That your body has its own mind.

That the broken heart you feel each month that is equal to the pain you feel when you lose a loved one.


Amanda Mae said...

Wow! I can not read all of this b/c I'm at work and it's making me teary eyed, but I'm so glad that you posted this. It's amazing to me that even though we don't all voice how we feel, we are still feeling the same way on the inside.

Kristy said...

Thanks for you and praying for you.

Tony and Susan said...

oh what painful memories! every single one of those is the absolute truth and i am so sorry that you have to experience them all!!!!! you do get stronger and you do get through it! praying for you!

Tracy B said...

I am a friend of Amanda from More than Words.... I can related to everything you are saying and know how you feel. My husband had been married for 15 years before my son came along. I had three miscarriages along the way. I had finally came to terms that I would not have any children. My sister had already had two, my best friend had already had two, and I would cry and cry. I would get so mad when I would see these young girls not even out of high school walking around pregnant, and was wondering what is wrong with me. I too was told that I had PCOS. By God's grace, I have my precious son. It is hard but keep the spirit. It will happen I promise. You still seem young, I was 36 when my DS was born. I would love to have another one, but at 42, I know it is not going to happen.

Kim said...

I didn't know you were trying. My prayers will be with you both.

Graham Shenanigans said...

Haley, I can only relate a little bit. I have two beautiful girls but when my youngest was 5, I had cancer and had to have a hysterectomy. I wish more than anything, I could have another baby. My heartaches come along with the adoption process. My heart and prayers are with you.

Heidi said...

I loved this... I laughed and cried. I could have written it myself :( I am soo happy for you that you are having a wee one.